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| My ahma was buried on 11/11/11 |
As many of you know, my beloved grandma, aka Ahma to many of us, has passed away on Monday, 7 Nov 2011, 9:10pm. She was hospitalized for around 8 weeks, because of a terrible cough and flu and she sort of said her back area was pain. And they were worried if she had internal bleeding so they sent her into the hospital. At first, she was still ok. But my mum said, ever since the day they asked my Ahma to be on a liquid diet, as the next day need do some test, her condition deteriorated. Because the next day she had to be on that diet again. So she was hungry and angry too. But because she's so concerned bout her own condition, she will tolerate all these. My relatives said, she was a very wise lady and she also knew how to care for her own condition. I'm touched by how she actually accepted her condition these years. She was ever ready to visit the hospital or doctor when she needed help. She would always want her health to be okay and this mindset of hers touched me greatly. When I first visited her, she was still so alright and could talk to me. But during the last few weeks, she became a little different. Sometimes she would randomly scold someone, sometimes she would just hug Yunik, my maid, and sometimes she would request to see some people. There was once I was there, she said, "Ah huang(my mum) leh? Ah huang why don't want come and see me? Why haven't come?" in teochew. I cried and she seemed so pitiful and in pain. I was so sad. Then slowly, she couldn't talk much and kept sleeping. She only made sounds when uncomfortable and I really felt useless. I could do nothing at all. I spoke to her and when I said, "Ahma, Ahlong lai le!" (she and my ahgong called me ahlong because they can't say ahdawn.) When she nods her head, to show me she heard, I would jump for joy.Then during the last day, she was already breathing so heavily and uncomfortable. But she requested to go home as she rather passed on at home. So, we fulfilled her wishes. I came home and spoke to her. I told her things that I didn't want to regret not saying. I told her, I love her alot, and i would study hard and love God always and mummy. I hope she really heard it because those were my last words to her. At night, she suddenly had bleeding. Blood came out of her mouth and we called the hospital, and we put ice onto her mouth area and inside too to stop the bleeding. Everyone was so worried and my auntie and mother were by her side, as well as Yunik. Suddenly, her heavy breathing stopped and many of us tried to feel her pulse and it was rather weak. My mum and auntie shook ahma, "Ma, wake up! Don't sleep already." in teochew. I was crying like mad. I never thought that I would ever see this scene in my life. I held her legs and from warm, it became colder... Around 9:10pm, we officially declared that she's gone. Because she no longer breathed, and no pulse could be felt anymore. Everyone of us cried, and we were so... lost. Ahma's gone, just like that. All the sufferings finally came to an end. She finally can rest in peace. We sat around and cried and doctor came and the wake+funeral incharge came and settle things for the next few days. I couldn't believe it. She was really gone.
For the first time I saw my ahma in the coffin, i was shocked. she didn't look like the ahma i knew, the makeup was weird and my mum requested for them to put my ahma's favourite lipstick. I looked at her, thinking, why must she go thru so much suffering.. But i'm glad now as she is with the Lord, our Father and He has saved a place for her in Heaven. My nephew said that the coffin was a heaven box. Because she was in a box which will lead her to Heaven. I was glad he thought in a way which made me feel much better. During the wake, many of us, her grandchildren grandnieces and grandnephews looked after the coffin at night. I took a look at her again and I said to her, "We will meet again, one day, in Heaven." There were two services on two days, one chinese service and one english. During the chinese service, my relatives gave eulogy and my uncle said something which touched me alot. As his mother had passed away long ago, my ahma was like a mother to him and his siblings. So he said this: "She is my aunt, and my mum." Friday, which is today, 11/11/11. She was buried at CCK lawn cemetery. She's buried at a Christian cemetery because she accepted Christ and got baptized on Christmas many years ago. As I see the coffin for the very last time, I asked God to always keep her safe with Him.
Yes, my ahma's gone. But only physically. Because she's forever in my heart. :')
I love you ahma, please don't forget me and I will pray to God everyday and talk to you, in my prayer. I hope you are alright now and as you're at the better home, take care. I love you and I will see you one day, in Heaven.
Ahlong, your youngest grandchild.
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